• mike

Dangerous Side Effects of Pool Ownership!


The side effects of owning a pool can be very serious. Side effects can range from a perfect summer tan, unusually low-stress levels, getting fit not on purpose, and stomach cramps from all the laughs had at your pool party. Below is a list of side effects of pool ownership[ that we recommend you keep an eye out for when using your pool this summer.


1: Summer Tan: While most of us in the Midwest have been hibernating all winter and are pale as the winter snow, come summer you can always tell who the pool owners are from the perfect tans they acquire while relaxing poolside. *PSA, while tanning can be good, too much exposure, can be bad. Be sure to use proper sunblock when near water.


2: Unusually Low Stress: The modern-day fast-paced lives we all live have everyone on edge and stressed to the max. But not the pool owner. You can always pick out the pool owner that just got done relaxing for hours in the pool by their laid-back low-key stress-free attitude. This side effect can last for hours and even days at a time.


3: Unintended Fitness Level Increase: This side effect is the sneakiest of them all and can have major consequences. Little do people know but swimming and playing in a pool is exercise! This is a mind-blowing revelation but it's true. At first, you may notice that your muscles are sore. Then the more you use the pool you begin to notice you have lost a few pounds and or feel stronger than before. If you are not careful you may even notice that your clothes become loose-fitting or don't fit at all anymore. This can be dangerous and expensive. It can lead to the need to buy new clothes and your confidence may skyrocket.


4: Family Gatherings: Anyone that has children knows that there is a point when they no longer want to hang around with mom and dad anymore. That is until you get a swimming pool. The second that pool goes in the ground your kids the neighbor kids, cousins, grandmas, grandpas, aunts, and that creepy uncle with the rat tail will be at your house every weekend for a pool party. Most likely you will have to foot the bill for the burgers, brats, lemonade, chips, dip, potato salad, coleslaw, jello, and the case of Busch Lattes for the Creepy Uncle rocking a sleeveless plaid shirt and jorts with sandals and socks. The ab workout from all the laughing you will do from watching the Creepy uncle belch out tunes from Metallica and Johhny Cash while crushing beer cans on his forehead may be worth the investment. #CheapEntertainment. Pools are a people magnet beware!


THE MORAL OF THE STORY

If you don't like having the ultimate tan, reduced stress, increased fitness or family gathering don't get a pool!


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